talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
