i just wanna soil my oats bro
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am available for nakedness
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize