i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
