Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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