apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
