There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
