Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
