Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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