I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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