Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
