so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
kristin has been a bad kristin
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
