You're completely useless in the revolution.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
