then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
