dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Sext me about skeletons
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
