You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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