It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
