What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
