Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
