dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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