It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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