I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
