moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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