She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I forget how to act sober
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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