Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i am craving dick and cupcakes
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
