Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize