She's JV to your varsity
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
