Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
