Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
