so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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