fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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