So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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