And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
