go do what you do best...puke behind churches
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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