Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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