omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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