If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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