new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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