My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This baby is an asshole
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
