Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
