Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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