god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
