Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
