dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
