i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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