I'm jealous of your bromance
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
