i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize