Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
