haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
