We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
