the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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