Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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