what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
