sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
