just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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