One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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