got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
time to smoke my breakfast
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
