I'm gonna have a badass scar
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
