I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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