this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize