My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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