at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
