i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
