we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
