Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize