I just made out with a guy for $7.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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